Cheese!!!
by eight ball
Summary: Beast goes insane about cheese, no point to this story, i was just bored. Just for people who want to know, YES the cheese thing is true


DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of them, all the x men belong to marvel and so forth.  
  
AUTHERS NOTE: a friend who was reading about the production cheese in her science textbook one day inspired this story to me. She is totally obsessed with not eating cheese that it's not funny. Anyways on with the story:  
  
Cheese  
By 8 ball  
  
  
  
  
  
Cyclops: WOLVERINE, how many times have told you not to leave your beer bottles lying around? Last time you did I tripped on it and landed in a puddle of alcohol which drenched my hair, you then walked past and flicked your burning cigarette but into my hair, and we all know how that ended.  
Wolverine: Yeah that was hell funny, you should seen the look on your face he he he.  
Cyclops: DAMN IT WOLVERINE, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS AAARRRRGH!!! MY HEAD, I'VE BURST A BLOOD VESSAL!!  
Blood was trickling down Cyclops's forehead and was somehow going behind his visor and in his eyes.  
Cyclops: HELP ME BEAST I CAN'T SEE!!  
Wolverine: I thought you were used to seeing red, Cyke.  
Cyclops: This is not the time for your comments AAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH!! IT STINGS!!!  
Cyclops then proceeded to run into a wall and knocked himself out.  
Wolverine: That should shut him up!  
  
Elsewhere in the mansion  
Jean: Mmmmm toasted cheese sandwiches, hi Beast would you like one  
Beast: I most certainly do not.  
Jean: Why?  
Beast: Because its utterly disgusting to eat cheese, I was reading a recent article in Readers Digest (I don't even know if Beast would actually read that, but just go along with it) and there was this poor innocent calf, who hadn't even left its mothers teat, yet it was killed to provide you with that slice of cheese you are eating. In that calf's fourth stomach is a protein called rennet. Rennet is one of the key ingredients of normal common cheese. Do YOU want to be responsible for this calf's death?  
  
Beast asked while holding up a picture of a calf.  
  
Beast: WELL DO YOU???  
  
Jean had a discussed look on her face. She thought it would be best to leave before Beast told her anymore information that would put her off her food. She was trying to think of an excuse to leave when she heard her husband give his usual girlish scream.  
  
Jean: Umm, did you just hear that? I think Cyclops must have injured himself again. I better go and see what that was.  
  
Jean quickly darted out of the room to leave a very stressed Beast. She wasn't even going to try and find Cyclops, she wouldn't be able to handle him right now.  
  
Prof. X's office about half an hour later  
  
There was a knock at the door, but it was opened before the professor could respond. Jean burst in and closed the door behind her, to find Prof. X trying out different wigs (hey you can't be that bald and not be sensitive abut it) A very stunned Prof X quickly shoved them in his draw and started to erase any memory of that event out of Jean's mind.  
  
Jean: Oh hi professor, um I think Beast could use some help  
Prof. X: Whatever it is I'm sure Beast can handle it.  
Jean: No I mean MENTAL help. He has got this thing about cheese, and he said if I continue to eat it he would unleash his viscous pet cow onto me.  
Prof. X: Beast doesn't even have a pet cow.  
Jean: I know, I think its imaginary, he was feeding it lettuce about twenty minutes ago and talking to it.  
Prof. X: I see  
  
Beast's room  
  
Cyclops: Beast? Beast, you in there  
Beast: Come in my friend  
Cyclops: Oh at last I found you, um I think I may have burst a blood vessel in my forehead, I've managed to stop the bleeding, but I was wondering if you.......  
  
Cyclops noticed that the room was all dark and Beast was huddled into a corner and he seemed to be patting something, but Cyclops couldn't see anything there.  
  
Cyclops: You... you alright Beast?  
Beast: Cyclops my friend, tell me, do you like cheese??  
  
Cyclops was getting a bit nervous, but he answered anyway.  
  
Cyclops: Um yes, why do you ask?  
  
A frown came across Beast face.  
  
Beast: You know its not good to eat cheese  
Cyclops: And why is that?  
  
Cyclops wanted to leave but he couldn't, he hated intimidating conversations. He had a bad feeling about being alone with Beast. All that was heard from X men, who were in Prof. X's office, was a girlish scream.  
  
Wolverine: Jean, I thought you weren't supposed to leave that guy alone with anything sharp or pointy.  
Prof. X: Damn, I knew I shouldn't of let him borrow my fountain pen.  
  
Jean went to get up and see what was wrong with her husband, but the professor interrupted her.  
  
Prof X: Let him be Jean, he has to learn one day how to take care of himself.  
  
So the X men went down to watch Red Dwarf, and left Cyclops to be attack by Beast and his imaginary cow.  
  



End file.
